Love was always irrational
by Rosie-not-Rose
Summary: “Basically.” He seemed to be edgy about something. “I’ve been – well, frankly, since you made that sweet little speech back there, my head’s been all over the damn place.” Post ep fic for Bones, episode 5x13.


The street was surprisingly silent as they walked along, bumping shoulders unintentionally at occasional intervals. There was a beautiful sunset, full of oranges, pinks and reds, and the sound of soft music drifted across from a bar several streets away. Overall it made for a stunning evening, and for once Brennan appreciated the silence between them, taking in the sights and sounds as she strolled along, feeling remarkably relaxed. Since leaving the Founding Fathers that evening, it was as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders somehow, but she could not explain it. She turned to Booth, smiling; only for her joy to dim somewhat as she caught the expression on his face. He was frowning, his shoulders slightly tense. He looked miles away.

Brennan touched his elbow gently. "Booth?"

"Yeah." He seemed to come out of his reverie, though he still seemed a little distant.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, Bones. Everything's fine."

She frowned, immediately affronted. "No, it isn't."

"Yes it is."

"No, it isn't."

"Bones –" He was avoiding her gaze, which made her stomach churn slightly in apprehension.

"Are you thinking about Jared and his soon to be wife?" she asked, trying to level her voice back to a sympathetic tone.

"Not particularly."

When it became clear that Booth wasn't going to elaborate on the matter, Brennan let a small sigh escape. She wasn't altogether taken aback when Booth immediately picked up on this.

"What is it?" he asked, gently.

"I don't like when you don't tell me what's bothering you," she admitted.

At that, Booth's gaze finally shifted to her. She struggled to read the emotions in his brown eyes, wishing, definitely not for the first time, that she possessed his excellent ability to read people. At this moment, all she could ascertain was… worry? Anguish?

Suddenly, his expression softened. "Your toast was good tonight, Bones."

"Did you think?" She puffed herself out slightly. "I felt it went well. I made the point I wished to make."

"And what point was that, Bones?" His question seemed to contain so much weight, which confused her, because the answer was obvious.

"Well, naturally, that I now believe in love, and the effects it causes."

Booth gave a small, low laugh. "Yeah. That was it."

"That was it."

A pause. "Don't you get how important that is?" His tone held a level of incredulity.

Brennan seemed to have lost the point of this conversation. "What do you mean?"

"Remember that time you turned up at my apartment one night, saying you wanted to believe in love, that you wanted to lose yourself in another person?" She nodded slightly. "That wasn't all that long ago. I mean, I was confident that one day you'd come around, wake up and smell the roses, but I gotta admit you really sped the process along there."

Brennan found herself smiling at this. "This is a good thing, yes?" she wondered.

"Hell yeah! I've been trying to teach you all this stuff for _years_. My work is done," Booth announced, raising his hands above his head in celebration. A passing couple looked on in bewilderment.

Brennan laughed. "Why are we walking, anyway?"

Booth lowered his arms, and a mask seemed to fall across his face again. Her chest constricted. "I just needed a walk, clear my head before I drive you back."

"Why, did you drink an excessive amount?"

A small smile formed on his lips. "No, I didn't mean that."

"Then… what?" she asked, slowly. "You're not making a lot of sense tonight, Booth, and I admit that I'm finding it… difficult to understand what's going on in your head."

Booth snorted. "Well, Bones, the feeling is definitely mutual."

"I thought you could read people like a book."

"People, Bones, yes. Not you."

She blinked several times. "What am I, if not a person? I know we discussed anthropologist aliens, but it was only a jo-"

"I guess the insanely literal thing is never going to change, huh?" Booth interrupted, grinning at her. She couldn't help but return it as the meaning of his words clicked into place.

"Oh, you're implying I'm _unique_," she pondered.

"Something like that."

"I like it."

"Good. It was meant as a compliment… sort of."

A silence fell between them. Brennan stole frequent glances at Booth, noticing that his shoulders had relaxed slightly, and his face wasn't as scrunched up anymore. Her own body relaxed in response. They reached a certain point before Booth put an arm around her shoulder to turn her in the opposite direction, and they began walking back the way they had come. Brennan felt almost disappointed; she had been enjoying the stroll, and suddenly the idea of driving back to a dark, empty apartment was extremely unappealing. But obviously Booth had had enough of walking, and she wasn't about to disagree. Verbally, anyhow.

"So, Bones." His voice pulled her out of her thoughts abruptly. "What are you going to do with this new discovery of yours? Take over the world? Start your own brand of love potions?"

She stared at him. "Are you insane?" His grin widened. That special grin, the grin no one else was ever privy to. Not that she knew that, of course.

"When it comes to you? Very."

"What do you mean by that?" she asked, suddenly frowning.

Booth shrugged. "I'll leave that for you to work out. Should only take you, ooh, a hundred years?"

Brennan slapped his arm and he winced. "Stop speaking in riddles!"

"Oh, I'm just speaking _human_, Bones, our species can understand me perfectly."

"You're insufferable." Despite her best attempts to look irritated, however, she was laughing, and that all too familiar feeling of affection towards him welled up inside her. Keen to alleviate it in some way, she acted on impulse and tucked her arm through his. He looked down at their linked arms, surprised.

"You're changing in many ways, Bones," he muttered.

"Good ways?" she asked, slightly nervous.

"Brilliant ways," he assured her, suddenly becoming serious. Their gazes locked for several long moments, and Brennan internally willed him to do or say _something._ She was sure she couldn't stand this, constantly teetering on the edge of whatever was happening. If only he would –

Booth suddenly broke their gaze, and they continued moving slowly. Her heart sank down somewhere in the region of her shoes. They exchanged idle conversation as they walked, and at one point Booth unlinked their arms and took Brennan's hand in his, and proceeded to rub his thumb over the sensitive skin of her wrist, back and forth, back and forth continually. Brennan had to admit it was more than a little distracting. However, she found she was powerless to stop it, so she attempted to ignore the fact that all at once her head felt somewhat fuzzy, and her intelligence a little jumbled. After the speech she had made, Brennan found that she suddenly had a lot to think about. So much to sort through in her head, and she had no clue where to start. Or even if she _wanted_ to face these issues.

Maybe it was a good thing he was taking her home. But then –

"You coming over tonight? I'll cook a meal," Booth asked out of nowhere.

Brennan frowned. Was he psychic? No, there was no such thing, obviously. Regretfully, she answered him. "I can't, Booth. I need to get home and… well, think. About many things."

Booth cocked an eyebrow at her. "I hope that isn't code to mean you're going home to _work,_ Bones."

"No, it isn't, actually! Astonishingly, even _I_ take time off, Booth – though I admit that it is rarer than most," she added begrudgingly at his look.

"_Too _rare."

"I disagree."

"Of course you do."

"What's wrong with you tonight, Booth?"

His head snapped to hers in surprise. "Are we back to that again?" She inclined her head slightly. "You don't give up, do you? Alright, Bones." He paused as they finally reached the car parked on the corner near the Founding Fathers, and they hopped in either side. "Basically." He seemed to be edgy about something. "I've been – well, frankly, since you made that sweet little speech back there, my head's been all over the damn place."

Brennan's heart was suddenly beating slightly faster. She wasn't sure what to say, and she wasn't even sure she understood. "Oh?"

"Yeah. It's a big thing, Bones."

"What, the speech I made?"

He didn't answer, just started the engine, and despite her apprehension she suddenly remembered Angela's advice about _offering a little of yourself_.

"I've been thinking, too."

"Oh, really? What about?" Booth half glanced at her whilst keeping his eyes on the road.

Brennan paused, marshalling her thoughts. "You, mostly."

"Me." He stated it almost in disbelief.

"And about how much things are changing."

"What things?"

"Life."

"Now _you're _speaking in riddles, Bones."

"I'm speaking logic, actually."

"Well, to me, that _is_ riddles," he smirked, and she rolled her eyes.

A slight pause fell between them, before Brennan spoke again, not wanting to move on just yet. "What have _you_ been thinking about?"

"Me?" He swallowed, and his hand scrubbed across the slight stubble on his chin. "Well, I have been thinking, mainly, that perhaps I need to … man up."

"You need to man up." She said it slowly, pondering his words. To her immense frustration, no immediate explanation occurred to her. "Is this one of those confusing riddles again that I can never work out? Because as a scientist, and a genius, I find them extremely annoying."

Booth's eyes flickered nervously several times between Brennan and the road. After noticing his expression, Brennan made a decision to drop the subject, and for the rest of the journey they reverted back to their innocent banter and discussion of the latest case.

It rose to the surface every so often, more so recently, but each time it was hastily buried, by one or the other party. Brennan felt that they were getting nowhere. It upset her, but she didn't know what to do about it. Knowing how to act socially, and finding the right words to say or actions to carry out, had never been her most evident skill.

They reached Brennan's apartment within minutes, and by that time a slightly unsure silence had fallen between them, filled with nervous glances and clearing of throats. Brennan opened the passenger door to exit and was surprised when Booth followed her.

"I'll walk you up," he muttered.

"Why? I am more than capable, Booth," she shot back instantly.

Booth huffed impatiently as they reached the elevator. "I just _want_ to, is that a crime? Do you have to question everything?"

"No, not everything." What had she done this time; why was he annoyed at her? A lump rose in her throat. Sometimes she felt like she couldn't do anything right.

"Look, I'm sorry, Bones. Like I said, my head's a bit messed up," he apologized instantly, looking at her with nothing but warmth in his eyes. The only time Brennan recalled being on the receiving end of a cold look from Booth was… well, she didn't really like to think about it. She still hadn't forgiven herself for being so easily taken in by his brother.

She had come to rely on Booth's warmth, sometimes wished she could wrap it around herself and use it as a comfort blanket. The closest she came to this was when he hugged her. It was irrational, but she was coming to realize that often the most satisfying emotions were just that – irrational.

Like… love.

They reached her apartment and Brennan stood inside the doorframe. "Well, I'll most likely speak to you tomorrow, then, Booth. And –" She suddenly grabbed his arm. "Can we speak more about this then? I feel like… I feel like we need to discuss this further."

Booth looked startled that _she _was suggesting they talked about their deep personal feelings. It was bizarre, to say the least. "Yeah, maybe."

"Can you give me your word?"

He laughed quietly. "Yeah, Bones, you have my word."

She smiled in genuine gratitude. "Thank you. I don't want to sweep this under the carpet again, as it were. I have some things I would like to say."

Booth stared at her. "Geez, Bones, are you _sure_ you haven't been abducted by some sort of alien?"

Brennan scrunched up her face adorably. "Quite sure."

"So where's all this openness and honesty coming from?"

She broke their eye contact, fixing on a point on the doorframe. "I just think…" She faltered. "Events lately have made me realize that some things are too important to delay forever." There was a silence, but she dared not look at his face for the expression she might see there.

After several moments he leaned forward and she expected that he was going to kiss her on the cheek (not altogether unusual), so when he captured her lips gently with his, she gasped against his mouth, her mind going inexplicably blank. A mere second later, just when she was moving to deepen the kiss, Booth pulled away, and she was left feeling furious. Oh no, she was a _woman_, and after all this time, that hadn't _nearly_ been enough of a –

"Good night, Bones." Booth's voice was devoid of emotion, but the tiny smile on his lips gave him away. He took hold of the door to close it.

"Oh no, Booth, you can't just –" Brennan stopped abruptly as the door closed gently in her face, shutting her inside her apartment. She groaned, seriously considering wrenching the door open and racing after him, _demanding_ that he finish that kiss, because there was only so much teasing she could take.

But her gut told her not to, and for once, she listened.

Sighing, Brennan crossed to her couch and sank down onto it, her fingers moving across her lips. Damnit, this was going to make organizing her thoughts and feelings _a lot_ more tricky.

Pleased that no one was around, Brennan lay back and allowed a huge smile to cross her face. One step at a time.


End file.
